almost hell

to be blatantly honest, there are times when i struggle with my faith. i've got my fair share of evil days when i wake up on the wrong side of my bed, do the wrong things and everything that happens feels as if God has forsaken me.

(e.g. yesterday - woke up late, no cab, traffic jam, raining, slipped and fell while running, reached camp a whooping half an hour late on a day when RSM inspecting 1st parade, got warning from superiors).

on such days, i find it hard even to pray and seek divine consolation. In desperate situations, i do sometimes coerce myself to try to feel that tangible love by revisiting a time when i was truly moved by God's loving kindness. these are often old and 'overused' revelations such as 'recalling the time when i accepted Christ' or 'replaying a worship song in my mind that once moved me to tears.'

still, God's divine plan never fails to move me to tears with fresh revelations from heaven. Recently, while worshipping at Campus service, i received a revelation from God that reinstated His grace towards me.

God reminded me of that incident when i was younger, i almost plunged into the pits of hell when i almost drowned and died at Tampines swimming complex. I realised that the devil had plotted to kill me even when i was then still a child. for one moment, i was gripped with fear acknowledging the reality of spiritual battle.

Then John 10:10 came to mind: 'The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.'

I cried. it was God that saved me from being drowned in the nick of time. it was God that snatched me back from the gates of hell. not once, not twice, but the many times i almost met in accidents and should have died.

i felt God must have an extraordinary plan for my life if not the devil wouldn't have tried to take me before i was even born again. more so, i felt so free, so appreciated, so loved once again.




reading my bible now, God spoke to me again. the succeeding verse after john 10:10 reads,
'I am the good shepherd. the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep' -john 10:11