so, happy

>> marcus is says:
HI!

>> marcus is says:
HOW ARE YOU?!

x says:
what's up with the caps?

x says:
haha

x says:
i'm doing alrighty

x says:
you?

>> marcus is says:
IM FINE THANK YOU

>> marcus is says:
IM TRYING TO PERK UP MY LIFE AND CONVINCE MYSELF THAT ALL IS WITHIN MY CONTROL

>> marcus is says:
HENCE THE CAPS!

x says:
dups, nice pun

>> marcus is says:
HAHA

>> marcus is says:
IM FEELING QUITE STUPID ACTUALLY.

>> marcus is says:
DO YOU FIND ME STUPID?

x says:
i was just thinking it's a really clever thing to say

x says:
i don't mean the "do you find me stupid" sentence

x says:
i was referring to "everything is within my CTRL"

x says:
i'm not clever enough to know whether or not you're stupid

>> marcus is says:
NAH.. I'VE ALWAYS REGARDED YOU AS MY SMART FRIEND. ONE I CAN CONFIDE IN.

>> marcus is says:
ITS A COMPLIMENT.

x says:
haha yah i take it as a compliment

x says:
same to you actually

x says:
but i still won't say 'm smart

x says:
why the sudden "i feel stupid" surge?

>> marcus is says:
WAIT

>> marcus is says:
DOES FEELING OPTIMISTIC ALL THE TIME STUPID?

>> marcus is says:
I THINK IT IS.

>> marcus is says:
COS HAPPY PEOPLE ARE SMART PEOPLE. THEY ACTUALLY ARE SMART ENOUGH TO DUCK ALL THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

>> marcus is says:
WOW

x says:
i don't think smart people are perfect people

x says:
everyone who is not perfect have negative thoughts

x says:
it is normal to feel negative sometimes

x says:
sometimes it's not even US feeling negative, it's just some boring chromosome-whatevers that does it

>> marcus is says:
ARE YOU SOMEONE WHO IS NEGATIVE MOST TIMES?

x says:
yes

x says:
haha

>> marcus is says:
CHROMOSOME?

x says:
aiya i never took bio

>> marcus is says:
HAHAHA..SCIENCE. IM NOT SMART ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT

>> marcus is says:
LET ME ASK YOU A STUPID QUESTION. NO PUN INTENDED. IT'S REALLY STUPID.

>> marcus is says:
DO YOU WISH YOU ARE PERPATUALLY HAPPY

x says:
i was just thinking about a similar question the other day : why is life so difficult

x says:
and i came to the conclusion that even if life was easy (e.g. lotsa money to spend, parents damn generous, tests always get As, top firms want to hire me) it still won't seem entirely easy

x says:
it's probably relative, same as happiness

>> marcus is says:
WHY?

x says:
relative not to others, but to yourself

>> marcus is says:
DAMN. EVEN PONDERING ABOUT HAPPINESS IS FOR THE SMART. COS IT'S SO COMPLICATING. DON'T YOU THINK?

x says:
the fact that you find it complicating (havnig reached all the way up to the complicating stage) means you're a thinking person

x says:
i'm sure MANY people, when asked what is happiness, just shrug or not be bothered or be defeatist about it

x says:
and i'm not just giving you a politically correct answer

>> marcus is says:
YOU'RE COOL. I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT. SO YOU'RE SMART. SEE!

>> marcus is says:
YAY. SO IM SMART AND SO ARE YOU.

>> marcus is says:
SIGH, BUT IM STILL NOT HAPPY. SO IT MEANS BEING SMART DOESN'T MAKE ONE HAPPY.

x says:
as i said being happy is a relative thing

x says:
trite as it may sound, being happy somehow stems from being contented

x says:
we can't always change circumstances external to us, so it is up to us to deal and perceive the circumstances that happen

>> marcus is says:
SO WHY ARE YOU STILL UNHAPPY? SINCE WHAT YOU JUST SAID SOUNDS GOOD.

x says:
because i haven't learnt how to be contented

>> marcus is says:
HAHA

>> marcus issays:
DOES IT MEAN WHEN SHIT HAPPENS, I STILL HAVE TO BE CONTENTED TO BE HAPPY?

x says:
be thankful something shittier didn't happen

>> marcus is says:
ISN'T THAT SELF DECEPTION?

x says:
but i still think that my theory is in some way delusional

x says:
yea

>> marcus is says:
LIKE I FAIL MY EXAM. YAY, AT LEAST I DONT GET ZERO.

x says:
shit happens then sht happens right

x says:
why expect to be happy when shit happens?

>> marcus is says:
SO IF SHIT HAPPENS EVERYDAY, THERE'S NO WAY TO BE HAPPY?

>> marcus is says:
GAH! WHY?

>> marcus is says:
GOD PLEASE OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL ME!

x says:
aiyah shit happens so that you nkow what being happy is about

x says:
if shit never happens then what is happiness?
x says:
happiness becomes a constant, which is kinda boring right

>> marcus is says:
SO IT'S A SAD WORLD AFTER ALL. WE NEED TO BE SAD FIRST BEFORE KNOWING WHAT IS HAPPY? WE NEED TO HAVE PAIN INFLICTED ON US FIRST BEFORE WE KNOW WHAT IS BLISS?

>> marcus is says:
AND WE NEED TO BE HATED FIRST TO KNOW WHAT IS LOVE?

x says:
i only agree with the first sentence

x says:
because happiness is an emotion, it comes in a matter of degree

x says:
and happiness and sadness belongs to the same scale

x says:
whereas hatred is a different emotion altogether from love

>> marcus is says:
WHY? IT'S ON THE SAME SCALE NO? HATE BEING ZERO, NEUTRAL BEING 5 AND LOVE BEING 10.

x says:
not in my opinion. just because they're frequently used to oppose each other, doesn't mean they are on the same scale

x says:
don't know la i may just be wrong, as i always am

x says:
but i certainly don't agree that you have to experience hate before you can experience love

x says:
similarly, you don't have to experience hate in order to APPRECIATE love

x says:
BUT, you may have to experience sadness before you can APPRECIATE happiness

>> marcus is says:
REALLY?

x says:
i can love someonw without hating someone what

>> marcus is says:
HMM? BUT WHY CAN'T YOU BE HAPPY WITHOUT BEING UNHAPPY?

>> marcus is says:
LOOK AT A BABY.

x says:
you can be happy without being unhappy! you just won't realise that's being happy

x says:
happy is contrasted/compared with sadness what

x says:
e.g. i'm happy when i don't have to goto sch versus i am not happy when i have to go to sch

x says:
if i don't have to og to sch everyday anyway, then i won't appreciate the fact that i don't have to go to sch!

x says:
this argument may not apply to each and every situation when you experience happines/sadness but i think it's pretty broad in application

>> marcus is says:
OK

>> marcus is says:
I ALSO DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

>> marcus is says:
LASY TO THINK LE.

x says:
haha

x says:
ok

x says:
anyway i gtg slp cos i have togo to sch tmr

x says:
early

>> marcus is says:
OK

x says:
sigh=unhappy=would be happy if i didn't have to go to sch

x says:
ciao

>> marcus is says:
BE CONTENTED THAT YOU HAVE SCHOOL.

>> marcus is says:
THEN YOU'LL BE HAPPY

>> marcus is says:
HAVE A HAPPY DAY

x says:
good one

>> marcus is says:
THINK ABOUT THOSE WHO DON'T HAVE THE CHANCE TO LEARN

>> marcus is says:
GOOD DAY AND GOOD NIGHT.

>> marcus is says:
:)

x says:
thanks, same to you





_______
just had hearty chats with friend x and y separately.
both are very dear friends of mine.
thought that the conversations were interesting and thought-provoking.
here's the one with friend x.

run run

i don't know what am i running away from, but i know there is something im trying to escape. one part of me is in conflict with the other part of me. its a direction that im seeking. ah, introspection is what im engaging in right now. i ask myself if im feeling sad, and i surprise myself with negative as an answer. just uncertain, just uncertain.

i woke up this morning with this first thing in my mind, 'sunday. church?'

yes.
no.
yes.
no.
yes.
no.

sure took me some time. finally, my legs reacted faster than my brains and i set off. upon reaching city hall, this other side of me sprung into action and arrested my legs. eventually, my legs brought me to this place called Marina Square. hmm..
(anw, MS's up ah!)


_____
"01 to 99...airstrike MGR 54234 12331"
green machine?

noteworthy week zero

what a week! it has been so eventful and unconventional that i can hardly remember everything that happened.

what:

. the excursion that was such an adventure./bought Jun Jie's new album 'Cao Cao' and the music was satisfying./went SI for the entire week to rehearse for 40th Signals Day Parade, which was today./had a tan./took passport size photo which for once, i thought was not horrendous./finally got down to register for my Basic Driving Theory Test./enquired about the UOB tx card, which i'll be applying next month./got Mr nano a charger./got some natural Spring water./got promoted to LCP./found out Corrinne was at SRJC for her 1st 3 months of JC./watched FairyLand mv over and over again./got to know a few people better./going to the dentist tml./and probably many small things which i forgot..

to sum it all up, gr8!



_________
what should i write here today?

game?

'sometimes i feel so tired cos i struggle to cope with life. and i thought how much easier it would be if i didn't 'know' the rules to life. that not accepting Christ = death.'


______
i'm sick of playing the game of religion


(the above phrases are quoted out of the entirety of the oringinal context. i just extracted these as they aptly describe how i feel. for now, everything goes under the carpet and im happy. tell me it's temporal, but allow me to indulge in it, for a while. all will be fine, one day.)

overdose

don't you just want to say with me, 'awww!'
come on, how can anyone not love this creature?
f.y.i., my hamster looks exactly like this. this
picture really gives me the warm smile
whenever i look at it. the last was ayu's mv.
so for now, it has officially become my new
wallpaper.
:)


__________
lets visit the SPCA soon.

fBaRmOiKlEyN

BROKEN family. that is what my title reads.

meeting people from all walks of life really widens my perspective. i am appalled to find out that many of my friends grew up in broken families. i know from news reports and statistics that broken marriages are on a high, but they come across to me as only numbers. hearing it from friends sent reality knocking on my door.

after some thought, i am overwhelmed with emotions, melancholiness mixed with anger. if there is a devil, then the damned thing deserves to be cursed for breaking up families, killing loved ones and hence depriving children of a healthy and wholesome family life.

i know of 4 friends whose parent died prematurely. 2 of which in freak car accidents, 1 to illness and the other not made known to me. i know of more people whose parents are separated. i also know of friends whose parents are not separated, but act as if they are or worse still, constantly at war with one another. each time i listen to their stories, i feel so much in pain, for them and for the fact that these have become prevalent trends.

the people who suffer the most, are those who suffer in silence - the children. speaking from experience, children who grow up in broken families tend to lack or lag. i am one good example. deep within, i grow up with this scab that is constantly vulnerable. many many times, this scab opens up and bleeds. yun puts it as, 'the root' and i believe the root is the inherent and subconscious yearning for love. i always believe God instituted a wholesome person to grow up with both mother's and father's love, both not replaceable nor dispensable. if one is missing, then its like a wall with a missing brick. such a wall might either continue standing without the brick, but remains weak and vulnerable or crumble.

that is why i won't allow the damned thing to have the upper hand. the more i want to read psychology in university and ultimately specialise in family psychology.

speaking of which - just the other day, i found out one of my friend's dad is a signal warrant officer. curious, i asked him how long his dad has been in the force. 20+, years he replied. my eyes brightened. my mum once told me that my dad once signed on as a signal specialist, but that was many years back. he quit. so, i asked my friend to ask his dad if he knew my dad. i don't know why i did that, because even if he did, what difference would it have made? i guess i was curious, my heart thumbed slightly faster when my friend asked his dad. all i know of my dad is bad, perhaps, i just want to know if anyone else has something else to say about 'this man'.




________
'FAMILY = Father And Mother I Love You'

- i not stupid too

singadventure

the army actually organized an excursion today entitled the 'Lion's Trail'. i was already in hibernation mode until we met our guide, this 30+ year old lady that really, in her own words, 'brought history to life'.

i dare say i've never learnt so much from an excursion before and for this i've got to credit her. unlike other guides, our guide today really knew more than Sir Stamford Raffles and Singapore River. her stories and nuggets of information really caused me to once again rediscover the lustre of the heritage of Singapore. speaking of which, i really admire those who enjoy their job and work with a passion. my guide is one such person as she really went the extra mile to let us into secrets that were not within the excursion package and best of all, she managed to capture the attention of a platoon of uninterested soldiers.

1st up, we visited the Changi Museum. actually this is my 2nd time in 6 months visiting the museum. however, i was far from feeling bored. through artifacts of WWII, stories of POWs, the painful and agonizing sentiments of war could be strongly felt. murals, secret transistor radio the size of matchstick box, a simple chapel, a crucifix made of bomb shells all sufficiently exuded the struggle for survivor. of course, our guide's relentless commentary did justice to the objects sitting in the museum.

along the way, we passed by Changi Prison, this 'famous' place so frequently talked about yet so often left to my imagination. finally, i got to see how it really looks like. The famous old Changi Prison wall, the story behind it, the inmates. saw them all.

next up, we visited the Supreme Court. we briefly walked past the old Supreme Court, then proceeded on to the new. both of distinctly different architecture, yet with the same degree of grandeur. the guide explained that lady justice was crafted to be blind as it symbolises equality in the eyes of law. she sees no colour, status, religion. the scale being the epitome of fairness and the sword in her hand being due judgment exercised to those that deserve it.

when i entered the new Supreme Court, i was taken aback by the attitude of the design of the building. state of art, grand, awesome, yet as solemn and just as ever. the court rooms were also all computerised, none of which resembled my typical image of a court room captured from channel 8. our guide also explained to us that the extensive use of glass in the Supreme Court is to depict the transparency and the reliability of the Singapore Judiciary system. we also learnt about the standing Chief Justice, our law system in Singapore. we were also brought to the top of the building where in this futuristic flying- saucer structure, we had a breath-taking bird's eye view of Boat Quay/Raffles Place.

then, we took a walk alongside Singapore River. introduced to interesting places like 'the art house'. learnt that white Mr Raffles statue at Singapore River is made of broken marble, a replica of the original black one at Victoria Concert Hall. learnt about the various sculptures and the stories behind them. interesting ones include the cats by the river and the famous big bronze bird in the M1 advert. (remember the one where everyone laid eggs on the ground for some mysterious reason.) also, interesting tales of fengshui and prices of shophouses.

our guide also led us to discover the mosque at Raffles Place area. the one near MacDonalds yet often gone unnoticed. the interesting story behind it and why it sits underground, literally. it is probably one of the only 'underground' mosques in the region.




i just need to revisit these places again.
next time armed with my camera and
a like-minded adventure mate.



____
what an adventure!

searching

it's 4.23 a.m. my feet are aching and im feeling wasted.

in my hand, i've got a cuppa hot cocoa (actually it's my favorite beverage Milo. im trying to sound english here.). im in my room, quiet and peaceful, temperature at a cool 25 degrees. i feel much more at peace here. happier.

i just returned from my 3rd clubbing session of my life at momo. i didn't like clubbing, i still don't and i think i will never. why then did i club? i guess im searching for something. also, i want to know why people my age do certain things.

perhaps they're searching for something too.
they think they've found it.
i think otherwise.

thought process yet to be completed. will pen down my thoughts soon.
need to retire for now.

_____________________


my friends and i at ChinaOne to
celebrate Seb's 21st
birthday.

i just have to write about these 2 strangers i met recently, at 2 separate occasions.

1.

the first occurred on sunday, before i went to Corrinne's concert. i was having dinner at NYDC Holland Village with friends. i remember spotting a bad flu then, so bad that i started tearing and got rather restless and agitated. after we finished our meal, we hurriedly rushed off to flag for a cab as we were almost late for the concert.

from behind, someone called out, 'sir, sir! is this your bag?'

i turned to check that out, surprised to see a waitress from NYDC running down the road with a familiar looking blue paper bag. it took me a second to realize that belonged to me and that i had completely forgotten about my bag. the flu must have had taken its toll on me.

i am really thankful for the waitress. if not for her, i would have lost my 500 bucks family digicam, keys, wallet, and perhaps even arrived at the concert hall without my tickets. it would have been a tragedy.

2.

today, i traveled to camp in smart 4 (green army uniform) in preparation for a parade rehearsal. as i was walking my last lap of my journey towards camp, a slow-moving bus came to a halt and the bus driver waved at me. thinking that he was headed for camp and needed help with directions, i walked up.

the chinese uncle questioned, 'boy, you going to camp is it?'

positive was my reply. i was expecting him to ask for directions, instead he offered to give me a lift, 'uncle going camp also. hop onto my bus. i drive you up.'

i have to confess that i hesitated initially. although i was in green, i was slightly uncertain if the man was up to no good. thinking back, i really regret doubting the integrity and kindness of this uncle. i think it has become reflex to me as i was taught as a child not to trust strangers. besides, friendliness and graciousness are never quite in the singaporean dictionary.

these simple yet rare acts of grace deserves to be proliferated.
if you are reading this,



THANK YOU.

__________________
take a look at the ordinary
don't need to look for paradise
you could be next to
an angel in disguise

'Angel in Disguise' - Corrinne May

strings and serenades - corrinne may in concert

Marcus and Corrinne. i was delighted and so
nervous my cheeks were shivering when taking
this shot. ha.

the date: 12th february 2006
the time: 1900 hrs till late
the place: NUS University Cultural Centre Concert Hall



i finally got to hear her 'live' today. seated in the 1st row, i had the best-est view as Corrinne performed roughly about 5m away from me, i was mesmerized by her passion for making music, her powerful and close to pitch-perfect vocals, and most importantly the honest stories she told with tunes and words. she's beautiful, not the Ayumi Hamasaki way, but she exudes such depth, charisma and arty-fartiness that makes her an attractive musician.

talented, she performed almost all 20 over songs from both her albums and treated us with her new creations. i especially liked this new song 'seed'. i cannot wait for her next album. she's probably the only girl i've seen who can play both the piano and the guitar and sing on the same time with such ease and flare. there was one song, she started off in the wrong key, only realizing it when it was getting too low for her. she just turned to her guy for help. such candidness.

after the concert, i actually queued up for 2 whole hours to meet up with her. it was surely worth all my time. the reason it took 2 hours is that she actually was friendly enough to sign her name, take photographs and have a small chat with everyone of her supporters. down-to-earth, no airs, sincere and nice. 4 characteristics that differentiates her from any other singer that crave for fame and riches. her genuine love for music and her determination to pursue her dream further add on to her already long list of credentials.


signing her name.


Corrinne had some problems
spelling Yun's name. Yun had
expected it as well.


my turn..


gracing my iPod. i actually
admire her enough for me to
allow her to sign her name on
my iPod protective cover.

hi Corrinne.
hi.
thank you for your good music. i bring your cds to camp and they're really a necessity in tough times.
oh, thank you. thank you. im glad you like them.
what's your name?
Marcus.
ok. (then she signed her name)
can you sign it on my iPod as well.
sure. wow, what's this?
it's a protective casing for my iPod.
so you want me to sign it here?
yea.
cool.
how long do you have left to serve?
1.5 years left. still long.
(being flustered, i missed her reply to that. i only recall it was something encouraging.)
(we requested to take photos with her, which she happily agreed. i passed my camera to Aaron to take for us.)
wow, is that a phone?
no, it's a digi-cam.
i see, they make all sorts of interesting stuff these days.
(before we took our leave, i asked Corrinne 1 last question.)
when will your next album be out.
(corrinne stood up and announced to the crowd.)
hopefully this year. by the end of the year.
(she looked over to my direction.)
the last album took me 3-4 years. it was sure a long wait. i hope this will be done soon.
Thank you Corrinne.


poster for Marcus


Corrinne signed on my
lyrics booklet.


and this, my iPod! yay.


_________
for the music, the sincerity, being singaporean, the everything Corrinne,
i admire her.
i really do.

myriad colours

Last night, i played with fireworks.


not this that we play during Chinese New Year or when we were still in high school.


but THIS.

yea, the sudden explosion that exudes a myriad colours like that of an Aurora. it was indeed a wonderfully rare experience being 'targeted' to help set up fireworks for an event. for almost 20 years, i've always wondered what awesome technology and massive equipments are required to trigger off such a spectacular sight. today i discovered the magic behind the scenes.






now i know why they always say, 'simplicity is the magic behind awe.' (actually i made this up. hah.) believe it or not, but all that is required for a 2 minute long mid-standard fireworks display are:

1. a few tubes of fireworks. (imported from China, Korea, Japan, etc. the professional said the Japanese are best at creating fireworks. f.y.i., the tubes look like toilet rolls, just that they are much longer and of course filled with explosives.)

2. 2 professionals setting up for about an hour, mainly connecting wires.

3. a bucketful of creativity.

4. a few logistic/safety personnel. (also known as free labour, people like me.)

5. a good location without obstruction. ( a mid-range one will shoot up to 60 m)

6. a high premium insurance.( in case the thing blast right into your face when handling them.)

and

7. 'only' about $8,000 to $15,000 for that 2-min of magic.



Viola! you'll get __________'s (place your name here) very own fireworks.


fireworks seem to have this magical ability to cause anyone to stop for that moment and enjoy the sheer beauty, even the rat in the race or the hamster on the wheel. i wonder why? coincidentally, i dropped by Corrinne May's blog and again, she perfectly put that i cannot express into words so apt.






'Yet,what is it about fireworks...
that makes people stop and stare in awe?


I stood transfixed at the kitchen window,
as I watched the black night suddenly
light up in colours of pink, purple, green,
red and orange. Little bulbs, little feather
lights, fairy dandelions, spreading their glow
for a short while and disappearing into the
darkness.'
-www.corrinnemay.blogspot.com





(all photos taken by marcus, me. photo 1 - blue pub. fireworks photos - NDP' 04 & Countdown' 06)
______
speaking of which, i am finally going to
hear Corrinne 'Live' tomorrow at NUS.
i hope she signs her name for me or
smiles for a picture.

when

was the last time someone praised you? when was the last time you praised someone?


sure took you some time to recall..





this was how the movie, 'im not stupid too' started. it really wasn't easy for me to find company to watch this movie. the 1st response i got was, 'huh? are you kidding me? i will not waste my money on local production. this show is for kids.' if we Singaporeans don't support and take pride in our local productions, who will? besides this is really one show that i didn't regret watching. and who did i watch it with in the end?

the perfect candidate: my mum. (she was reluctantly initially as well, but i sure bugged her enough for her to give in. hah. i could tell in the end she enjoyed it much. more importantly, we spent quality time together that night.)

frankly, i used to be quite annoyed with Jack Neo's unceasing emphasis on him being a director. (if you watch local tv, you'd have noticed that everyone addresses him as 'Liang-Dao' or 'Director- Neo'. and when that happened, i rolled my eye.)

now, im seeing him in a different light. to date, i haven't watched anything that can cause me to tear one moment and the very next moment laugh. i dare say Jack Neo has close to perfected his unique artistry of exhibiting the ever-so-Singaporean allegory for the social realties of modern day Singapore in his tear-jerking (the emotional way and the laugh-till-you-tear way) movie.

it is really about the love between parents and children. simple theme, yet powerful storyline. in one the scenes, a dying father said, 'there is no such thing as a bad child, only parents who have failed. i've failed, my son. im sorry but i love you.' a friend of the dying father also remarked, 'your dad loved you too much, but too much in the wrong way.' my translations really don't do the original mandarin dialogue justice.

if you're a true blue Singaporean, the many incidences in the movie you'll find all too familiar, too close to your heart. personally, i identify so much with the young actors that watching them felt like watching a movie of myself, no holds barred.

- have you ever felt like your parents don't understand you and wanted to know why?

- are you so jaded of you family?

- do you often feel so put down by society, the standards you and others set for you?

- have your parents ever commented they don't feel appreciated?

- have your parents ever praised you?

- have you longed for love. the unconditional one only your dad and mum can give?

i have.

go watch the movie.

it's deeper than you think.

____________________

'Careful. Slippery when Wet.'

[i saw this sign at bedokswimmingcomplex.]

wheee..

today is a happy day.



i woke up. i went swimming with daniel. it has been a long time since i had a good swim. wanted to soak up the sun today, but sky was littered with clouds. still it didn't dampened my spirits.

ate lunch at BK and caught up with dan.

went downtown, walked around and i bought a t-shirt from SpringField. i need tees and the SpringField tee is great.

xiwen came along and we all had tea. we talked. nice talk about life, being 20 and wanting to do crazy things. i need to do some things crazy and young, before im too old. im thinking of getting flowers and running up on stage to present it to Corrinne next week. should i? im thinking of joining the next superstar singing competition for fun. im thinking of going overseas (beyond sentosa and malaysia that is) holidaying with friends after i ORD, before i enter the uni. i thinking of celebrating my 21st birthday this year with a bang. hah!

continued walking and saw nice tees at Zara. payday, im waiting for you.

drank ice-blended mocha at Cafe Galilee, my prozac.

transported home. im home alone! woohoo. i can do things i only do when no one's watching. Like: singing at the top of my voice, blasting the radio, walking around topless and just basically goof.

there's a funny show tonight. i like that show so i'll be entertained tonight.

yesterday, my sister said, 'i showed my friend your photo and she said you're not bad.' and 'i think your voice is nice, though not special. you should try the superstar competition now that you're young.' my sister's usually my blatantly honest critic, these words thus are delightful and they perk up my day.

Diana Ser has charisma, is smart and is effectively bilingual. i like her.
Ayumi Hamasaki, almost my benchmark for beautiful.





______
Random thoughts of a happy day.
(:

i want

hi.

in case you're reading,



i want to play.
i want to have fun.
i want to sing.
i want to do my thing.
i want to make friends.

i want to not be a loser.
i want to laugh till i tear.
i want to goof around.
i want to go to school.
i want to make money.

i want to fly a kite.
i want to travel the world.
i want to learn to play the piano.
i want to read a book.
i want to learn a sport.

i want to be healthy.
i want to be loved.
i want to be understood.
i want a listening ear.

i want a nice girl.
i want a buddy friend.
i want a dad.
i want no cancer in mum.
i want happy friends.

i want no war.
i want no terrorist.

i want no pain.
i want no poverty.
i want no premature deaths.
i want something good to happen.

i want God to do a miricle so big i know He's still there, somewhere.

i want not to be so bored to have to write something like this.
i want
i want




______
Actually,

i just want to be happy.

can?

metro

not the departmental store im talking about, but metrosexual. yea, the big ‘M’. had this conversation with Toon recently and he asked me, ‘Marc, what’s with all the gym-ing and image revamp recently?’ I replied, ‘yea, it’s time to prepare myself for the real world man, that is when I enter university. Haha.’ Toon replied, ‘knew it.’

apparently, many guys nowadays are going metro and how can I lag behind? first up, im currently into skincare. I really need to take care of my less than perfect skin, keeping it clean and healthy looking at least. I found out it’s really no funfair trying to source for good skincare products, being man.

im really quite afraid of the promoters whenever i walk into my ‘super-friendly’ pharmacy. i feel like a gullible sheep walking amongst a pack of aunty wolves in sheep clothing.





A typical scenario will be:


I walk into the pharmacy and browse around the skincare section. this aunty promoter (you know those that look like your next door neighbor) will immediately pounce at me and criticize whatever product I have in hand.

‘boy, you looking for facial foam is it? this one no good, not suitable for your skin type. aunty show you something better. hmm, your skin looks kinda sensitive and you’ve got enlarged pores. Come come, see this one all natural one, won’t clog up your pores. Somemore can perch out all the dirt and serum and oil and black/white/gray heads. Not only that, you need to intensively moisturize, tone and cleanse all at the same time. MAXIMUM BENEFIT. (before i can even react, she proceeds to squeeze out a little of the magical potion and rub it on my hand.) Compare, now smoother right. Aunty never bluff you one.’


for one moment, i think i see her genuine concern for my skin in her eyes. I reply,

‘but a bit expensive, i don’t know if it’ll work for my skin.’


Instantly, almost as if she is anticipating my remark, she answers,

‘boy, you see aunty not here to make money only. Aunty also want your skin to be nice mah. You army boy is it? (I look at her, amused. now Im convinced she’s a spy.) A lot of army boy buy from me then come back for more bottles leh. They tell me very effective for you all, sweat and sun everyday. 10th get pay right? Today 8th already, 2 more days got salary already. Aunty know you all army boy not much money, but now got offer. 20%, today last day. Very worth it one, good investment. you buy now, next time you will come back and thank aunty one.’


Me, ‘Ok.’




_______
The Man really Don’t Get It.