Do you recall the good ol’days, in fact not too long ago when you were still using those huge conventional film cameras? Those days, every photograph you took counts as you only had 30 shots. Besides, the film costs money and the developing costs even more, even the batteries in those cameras dig deep into your shallow pockets. Take a moment with me and try to recollect the kind of excitement you had after collecting the developed photos. Now compare it with the excitement you feel today when you transfer those digital photos from your digital camera onto your electronic machine at home, rating your excitement on a scale of 10. I don’t know if you notice the difference but I somehow feel a tad less excited these days with my countless of digital shots compared to the heydays. Perhaps these days, taking pictures comes so easily and so cheap that it no longer creates the sense of anticipation and value. Since it’s free, just take only lah. Not nice ar, take again lor.
Nonetheless, I remain a beneficiary of the new technology. I confess I still like taking photos since it’s free and we can always take and take and take. Hah.
Having spent quite some time in our soon-to-be-defunct National Stadium, it dawned upon me that growing up and braving the waves of the occasional storms in life can very much change one’s perspective towards things. My first National Day Parade a couple of years back at the National Stadium left me awe stricken and definitely quite very lost. I marveled at the sheer size and capacity of the infrastructure. What surprised me was that as of lately, I’m starting to find the Stadium small. The majestic appeal and awe are that of the heydays. Another observation I made during my NDP preparations left me rather appalled. For one, I’m a person who digs fireworks, those myriad colors of sparks decorating the cool mellow sky like shooting stars gracing the earth. Short-lived yet glorious. Yet I observed the pyrotechnic specialists, those who set up and set off fireworks for a living displayed no signs of excitement, let alone awe during the several firework displays.
I’ve concluded that the pyrotechnic team has seen so much fireworks that they’re now numb. Isn’t it sad that we all grow numb to the things around us and hence lose the ability to appreciate the beauty in them? Perhaps they’re right, ‘too much of a good thing ends up being bad.’
On the contrary, does experiencing too much of a bad thing necessarily be bad after all? I used to be quite a sissy boy, afraid of needles and injections. I had such phobia towards these sharp rude intrusions on my body that I often break into cold sweat. However, I found out that magically, I overcame this phobia when I was in BMT. I didn’t even cringe when 2 injections were administered to me simultaneously on 2 separate hands. Subsequently, I was even put on drips 5 times. Maybe those tinny needles pale in comparison to the worse experiences of pain I have encountered as I progress in age. A flux in negativity at home has also taught me to brace myself and live by the day. Mark of maturity and age?
Whatever it is, I am glad rainbows don’t occur everyday.
before it becomes history,
faithfully illuminating
where millions have sat on..
ndp show segment 2006
________
A Neurotic builds a castle in the air,
A Psychotic builds a castle in the air, lives in it,
A Psychologist collects rent from it.
We’re living in a world of pretence, and I’m fully aware of it. We have to put on a false front, displaying the vibrant, vivacious and victorious side of us. It’s normal I know, to want the world to view you as cool, stylistic and more importantly strong. That is why I was rather hesitant when publishing my previous entry. Still, I did. I needed a place where I can be true at times. A place where I can be sad and weak, that is to be absolutely human. A place where I can not pretend, in fear of nasty judgments passed on me. Having said this, I admit that I’m indeed in need of a personal paradigm shift. I’m learning and hope to learn it fast.
That is being true to myself and to my friends.
On a lighter note, do you know that I am someone who digs BIG HAPPY SONGS? Yea, National Day songs, Victory songs, Olympic theme songs, etc. Songs that instill immense pride and positive outlook for the future. The thumps-your-heart and lifts-your-head-high kind of song.
Call me a freak, weirdo, nutcase whatever but I do have songs like ‘Home’, ‘My Island Home’, ‘Live Our Dreams’ in my iPod (in case you don’t recognize any of them, ‘My Island Home’ is this year’s NDP theme song while ‘Live Our Dreams’ is the Team Singapore theme song.).
These songs often spot tacky lyrics, or to put it plainly they are ‘cheesy, losery, cheenafied-sounding’. Don’t you think, cheesiness is after all the utmost honest expression of a man’s innermost emotion? We all yearn for love, peace, victory and acceptance and success; how many of us dare outwardly cry for them? Not many, because we want to be seen as cool, composed and fighting strong.
‘This is my family, these are my friends. We are Singapore, Singaporeans.’ ‘Heal the world, make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race…’ Don’t these song thug your heart?
In times like these, I sure need my dosage of positivism and hope.
Come on, Sing with me:
Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There’s a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which bring us life
Winding through my Singapore
This is Home, Truly
Where I know I must be
Where my Dream wait for me
Where the river always flows
This is Home, Surely
As my senses tell me
This is where
I won’t be alone
For this is where
I know it’s Home.
_____
Am i an idealist or perfectionist?
Heading down to my new found
favorite hangout: The Esplanade.
Just got tickets for 'Forbidden City'.
